December 13 2005Psalm 18:1-18
December 13, 2005 Psalm 18:1-19
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Ps. 18:6, 16-18. “In my distress I called to the Lord. I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry to him reached his ears…..He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.”
One of the great “truths” of life is that life is difficult. Too many of us waste our time expecting life to be simple and easy, and because it is not (or isn’t often enough), we find ourselves unhappy, depressed and “searching for happiness.” Or worse, we add blame and condemnation, often questioning God about the hardships in life, moaning and whining; “Why me Lord, why me?” I’ve done my fair share of this whining and moaning.
I’ve gone gray, moaning and groaning under the burden of a disabling, painful illness which forced me to retire from a successful law practice when I was far too young. And I did my fair share of condemning and blaming when my baby boy suffered a brain injury, then later still, autism. The challenge involved with parenting a special needs child seemed agonizingly impossible at times during his younger years, and that was before my first stroke. There were floods and surgeries and deaths and financial disasters. It seemed that I faced one crisis after another. In fact, my husband said that it was the crisis’ that held us together because we never had time to fall apart. Soon after I was severely injured in a disabling car wreck, my first marriage ended in divorce after 18 years -- a divorce I did not want. I lost my entire world, even my extended family. At the age of 39, I was disabled in two ways; broke, alone (with children) and frightened.
A good friend of mine was going through a divorce too. His children, who had been like my third, fourth and fifth kids for several years, grew even closer to me during that time. But their mother began to spread malicious lies about me, terrible hurtful gossip. Much later, when their father and I were blessed by God, fell in love and married, when we thought that “finally” life might get a little easier, we lost his kids. (Legally he has custody of two of the three. They simply chose not to have anything to do with us because they say they “hate” me, “suddenly” after loving me so much for so many years.) So now, Dicky and I have the love of each other—a union with no explanation other than one that was orchestrated by the hand of God. Yet we’ve lost “our” children as a result of that union, due to one woman’s hatred and malice. The pain of the loss has been excruciating. After a lifetime of struggling and the past 24 months of near hell on earth, losing the kids nearly broke me. The loss I feel, plus my empathy for my husband, is enough to drown a person.
In order to walk, the first thing I must do each morning is take morphine. I must do this every few hours all day long. It’s just necessary in order for me to bear the pain from the car wreck and the illness. Understanding and accepting that life, like my illness, is painful and requires help, is but the first step to making life easier. Some days I need only call out to God once, asking for just a little bit of support to give me strength. But other days, like the morphine, every few hours I’m reaching out to Him asking Him to reach down and take hold of me, to carry me through the day. Life is difficult, no matter how “easy” it is for someone compared to another. I thank God to know that He loves me enough to never leave, to never hurt me, and to always and forever be there for me when I can’t do it on my own.
Heavenly Father, I praise you for your support and for your love. Forgive me for neglecting to call on you sooner in my times of weakness, for letting the pain get too out of control sometimes before I take the time to reach out to you for your strength. Thank you for never failing me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Contributed by Lynda Welch
Click here for today’s podcast!
Ps. 18:6, 16-18. “In my distress I called to the Lord. I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry to him reached his ears…..He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support.”
One of the great “truths” of life is that life is difficult. Too many of us waste our time expecting life to be simple and easy, and because it is not (or isn’t often enough), we find ourselves unhappy, depressed and “searching for happiness.” Or worse, we add blame and condemnation, often questioning God about the hardships in life, moaning and whining; “Why me Lord, why me?” I’ve done my fair share of this whining and moaning.
I’ve gone gray, moaning and groaning under the burden of a disabling, painful illness which forced me to retire from a successful law practice when I was far too young. And I did my fair share of condemning and blaming when my baby boy suffered a brain injury, then later still, autism. The challenge involved with parenting a special needs child seemed agonizingly impossible at times during his younger years, and that was before my first stroke. There were floods and surgeries and deaths and financial disasters. It seemed that I faced one crisis after another. In fact, my husband said that it was the crisis’ that held us together because we never had time to fall apart. Soon after I was severely injured in a disabling car wreck, my first marriage ended in divorce after 18 years -- a divorce I did not want. I lost my entire world, even my extended family. At the age of 39, I was disabled in two ways; broke, alone (with children) and frightened.
A good friend of mine was going through a divorce too. His children, who had been like my third, fourth and fifth kids for several years, grew even closer to me during that time. But their mother began to spread malicious lies about me, terrible hurtful gossip. Much later, when their father and I were blessed by God, fell in love and married, when we thought that “finally” life might get a little easier, we lost his kids. (Legally he has custody of two of the three. They simply chose not to have anything to do with us because they say they “hate” me, “suddenly” after loving me so much for so many years.) So now, Dicky and I have the love of each other—a union with no explanation other than one that was orchestrated by the hand of God. Yet we’ve lost “our” children as a result of that union, due to one woman’s hatred and malice. The pain of the loss has been excruciating. After a lifetime of struggling and the past 24 months of near hell on earth, losing the kids nearly broke me. The loss I feel, plus my empathy for my husband, is enough to drown a person.
In order to walk, the first thing I must do each morning is take morphine. I must do this every few hours all day long. It’s just necessary in order for me to bear the pain from the car wreck and the illness. Understanding and accepting that life, like my illness, is painful and requires help, is but the first step to making life easier. Some days I need only call out to God once, asking for just a little bit of support to give me strength. But other days, like the morphine, every few hours I’m reaching out to Him asking Him to reach down and take hold of me, to carry me through the day. Life is difficult, no matter how “easy” it is for someone compared to another. I thank God to know that He loves me enough to never leave, to never hurt me, and to always and forever be there for me when I can’t do it on my own.
Heavenly Father, I praise you for your support and for your love. Forgive me for neglecting to call on you sooner in my times of weakness, for letting the pain get too out of control sometimes before I take the time to reach out to you for your strength. Thank you for never failing me. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Contributed by Lynda Welch
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